Alternate Computer Definitions

I’ll start!

Bit: The mark left by a tooth.
Nibble: The mark left by the four front teeth.
Byte: Upper and lower teeth both leave marks!

Killerbyte: A really painful byte!
MAGAbyte: A byte that tells hard truths and gets elected, but nobody wants to admit it.
Gigglebyte: A byte so hard it makes you laugh!
Terrorbyte: A byte, in the dark of night, complete with screaming.
Pedalbyte: A byte on a bicycle.
Extrabyte: Built in parity. Contains 9 bits!

Graphics Card: a.k.a. “postcard”
Microphone: Just a smaller version of a normal telephone
Keyboard: One of those little boards with hooks to store keys

processor - one who is in favor of those who are dilatory, negligent, or delinquent.
laptop - a friendly cat
MAC address - 1 Infinite Loop, Cupertino, CA

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Old favorite: PCMCIA - People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms

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I always preferred “Technology Without An Interesting Name” for the scanner interface.

Reminds me of WGASA - Fact Check: Wild Animal Park's Naughty Line

CD-R - a disreputable pirate